Perthshire man gets OBE

Gaun yersel, Dougie.!



Warning

If you're Scottish, and its Hogmanay, and you're reading this in a hotel room in Houston, or Doha, or Milton Keynes, do not click the start button on the following clip

Enough, I hear you say,

of this light hearted shilly-shally.


This is supposed to be a walking blog. I think.


And, as usual, you would be correct.


To recap. Earlier this year I was told that if I didn't stop drinking, lose some weight and get more exercise, I would be dead within months
. Now, when  your window cleaner tells you something like that it gives you a bit of a fright. I sought a second opinion. I sought several second opinions. Most agreed ; in fact the lady in the papershop gave me days instead of months. Only the bloke in the off-license disagreed.  As a last resort, I ambushed Doc Holiday as he was putting his clubs into the back of the Lexus in the Health Centre carpark I took his   " whatever" as being the final word on the matter.
Now it occurs to me that some of you may not appreciate what I was giving up here, due to your being unfamiliar with Scottish licensed premises. This may help.









 I live in a hilly place, so training walks were easy to find, but not so easy to do. I expected sore muscles and joints, but not dizzy spells and being unable to stand up at times. Dumyat (a hill) had been my end of summer target, but I managed it quite easily by May. Other short and medium term targets proved more elusive. Progress has been hindered by my accumulating more injuries than the Rangers squad in an international week, and the long time they seem to take to heal. However, so much for history. A new year approaches.

I' m going to be more positive. Hill walking/climbing is 30% in the legs, 30% in the lungs, and 40% in the head. (or some such numbers). The plan is to do serious damage to the Donalds this year. I've done lots of them before, but, not having a bagger's gift for record keeping or that drive that makes him go for that far-off outlier at 3 o'clock on a November afternoon, I never finished them off. So, start from scratch again, I think.
The there is The Project. I had given this up as beyond me, but, as I can't seem to interest anyone else in doing it, I may have to do the bugger myself. Perhaps as day walks, but maybe...... If things go well, you may hear more of The Project. However, One Small Step at a time.

You know you're in Alloa when.........

......you see three guys getting huckled for shoplifting -
























- in Poundland !

From the heart of my bottom......

Merry Christmas and a Guid New Year

Little musical edit here to avoid my being drawn, by implication, into something that's nothing to do with me.

"For the countless confused, accused, misused strung-out ones and worse

And for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe"

Blue

I popped into the salon this morning and asked Tracy to touch-up my highlights. Well there aren't many pleasures left at my age ! As usual, she tactfully declined, and I had to settle for the regular nose, ear and brows trim. Outside, it was still cold, but nothing like the glacial temperature inside our house, where The Lady of The House has declared one of her door-slamming/ crockery rattling fests. Married men will be familiar with the Heller-esque paradox- "Whats up, pet? / If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."  Hmmm - looks like they've just upped the number of missions again !
Years of experience have shown me that intelligence is the key to these situations, so I consulted Wikileaks (AKA Ruth, the cleaning lady). Apparently the critical word here is "Anniversary". During lachrymose conversations while the pair of them were "tidying" my (now redundant) drinks cupboard, expressions such as "thirty five feckin years of this" were regrettably deployed.
So that's what all the fuss is about. Not a problem. Now that the roads are a bit better, I'll just pop down to the filling station and pick up a bunch of these very good value carnations. Sorted.




Or perhaps I may have to resort to "Our song"

Festive Top Tips

Tesco : Want to engender a feel- good atmosphere among the customers in order to encourage them to spend more in store ? Then bin the silly antlers on the check-out staff and use the money to fix the wheels on the sodding trolleys.


Edinburgh Council : Why waste council tax payers money on a little diddy ice-rink in Princes Street Gardens when you could follow the lead of civic masterminds ,Stirling Council, and turn the entire pavement and footpath network into a giant ice-rink ?


English sporting media : World Cup ?  Ashes ? Which bit of the fat lady thing do you not understand ?










Sadly. So it goes.

There is a season........

....for looking back. evaluating, and looking forward.







Like a family, it's all relative. One person's major triumph is another person's everyday occurrence.
We attended the graduation of one of our children this summer.It wasn't the first, and it wasn't the fanciest, but because of the odds overcome, it was very special for all of us.Certainly beat climbing some stupid hills as the year's highlight.







Perspective, I see Swarb  has a full schedule of gigs for 2011. Despite having The Telegraph publish his obituary 10 years ago !

Snow pictures

Not my own, I'm afraid, but some interesting foties from Dave (TAC) Hewitt's  article in the Caledonian Mercury.Here

Blog Security Notice

Our Head of Blog Security, Big Senga, has informed me that one of The Followers is missing. Our previously happy band of 16 is now deficient to the tune of one.
I immediately suspected that Wing Commander "Jumbo" Sloman had gone "over the wire" as is his wont. However, he responded (if somewhat woodenly !) to his name at the roll-call, so we must look elsewhere for the miscreant. And rest assured, he will be hunted down, dragged back, and will spend several weeks in the cooler playing with his ball.

I must say that I am disappointed . I had thought that I ran an enlightened blog, with none of the gratuitous brutality found elsewhere in the blogosphere. Obviously my trust has been misplaced, and therefore I have no option but to suspend the use of the following items which I had donated to The Followers Social Club

• The vaulting horse
• The JCB
• The dumper
• The false moustaches
• The piano
• The compressor and all the rock-drilling tools
• Women's clothing (except, of course, for that belonging to the women)
• The tilting stove.
• All motorbicycles and microlight aircraft except those for which a valid permit has been issued.
• All graphical material in the "Visit Switzerland" series issued by the Swiss Tourist Board
• The passport machine.
• The pop-up toaster

In addition all work will be suspended on what I am told is an artificial ski slope being constructed beside the eastern perimeter fence
And finally, Followers will no longer be eligible to receive "Red Cross Parcels" from Backpackinglight.

I hope this will serve as a timely warning.

That is all.

Dismiss.

You lookin at me, pal ? (with slight returns)

I would like to start, if I may, with a little ditty perhaps appropriate for love in a cold climate.





Now here's the deal.


They've all gone out
I'm not allowed out
I am suffering low level pain/discomfort
I haven't had a cigarette for 28 years
I haven't had a drink for 7 1/2 months
I've finished all my library books

So, I'm going to prowl the blogs/message boards/forums looking for trouble.
If you see me coming, I suggest that you step aside.

I'll be back.

Edit 15/15

Just been through my contacts list and deleted a lot of tossers who I have no intention of ever emailing again. Sent "strongly worded" reminders to people who owe me money.

Heres more John Hiatt. He's bloody good. Who says Americans don't "do" irony - the running pastiche by the guitarist is excellent.




Edit 16.39

And another thing.
No. don't get me started on that!




Did you know that when Dusty Hare won a "most promising young guitarist" award Jimi Hendrix came second ?


Edit 18.22

The Support Team arrive with Special Fish Suppers (the vegetarian option !). Tales are told of nightmares in traffic and at the shops. My mood improves considerably.