Saturday, 18 June 2011

One more heartache

Perhaps today.
I rise early, don the smoking jacket over my PJs, and head downstairs.
As I excitedly bobbit a banana and crumble a suggestive biscuit into my porridge, I convince myself that it will be today.
I make myself comfortable in the widow seat with a cup of English Breakfast and look for the flash of red through the hedge which indicates that the postman has entered our street.
He's getting closer
Be still my beating heart !!!!
Damn it. He's walked past our gate.
Another day without a parcel from any of the leading outdoor retailers containing  examples of the latest exotic gear for me to test  and  review.

It's so humiliating. Suppose I meet another blogger on the hill (or on a bus), and they remark on my socks and enquire  who I am testing them for. Imagine the shame of having to admit that I went into a shop and bought them. It's so unprofessional.!
Now, I'm fully aware that I'm not a proper grown-up bloggger . I can't expect to get tents and jackets and rucksacks and stuff.
But surely - a spork? a whistle?
Perhaps tomorrow
I extinguish the jacket and slip back under the duvet.


  1. The Oldmortality Grey Whistle Test, eh?

    Good things come to those who wait.

  2. "I'm sorry, Mr. OM. We expect a bit more detail from our gear reviewers than "Mmm, nice""

  3. some 'bloggers' don't set foot out the door unless they have something to 'test''m glad my postman passes on by, he only ever brings me bills.

  4. I know the type you mean, Mr.Bum.
    "Yesterday I walked the entire Pennine Way. It was quite nice. Now here's a list of what I was wearing" !
    To be fair, most of them provide a useful service by giving an unbiased practical opinion of new equipment as they see it.
    However, when Lord Blogger appointed me to this position, my remit was to rip the pish out of the entire outdoor scene, without fear or favour.

  5. Crikey Moses!

    I have just done a GEAR REVIEW! *Runs to door, feeling giddy*

    It was a very nice jacket though...

    To be fair, the last one I did was almost two years ago... Oh, and I did get a free weekend at a rather smart little pub in the Yorkshire Dales around the same time as well... Why can't I test out a few more hotels in nice places with good beer?

    Here's a thing - how about gear testing Wimmin? No - on the other hand, maybe not. Haven't I learned anything in all these years?

    *takes another large swig of Lagavulin, feeling better already*

    Anyone need a whisky tester?