Monday 23 January 2012

Health and Efficiency

Rather than sit waiting for Bessie Smith to launch into "Gimme a pig foot and a bottle of beer" I decided at the weekend to effn go for it.
In the One Small Step tradition,I started with a warm-up today - into town and back..
Three miles to Tesco  at just under the hour, half an hour shopping and berating a department manager for misleading pricing, and three miles back carrying a rucksack with 9k of groceries ( we're having a dinner party this evening and had inexplicably run out of lard ). Nae bother.
Mainly flat tarmac, with the only" hill " being the 20ft aprox humpy-backit Old Stirling Bridge. Now this is not to be confused with the Stevenson Bridge which carries the A9 today or  Stirling Bridge, The Even Older. The latter is unlikely to cause much confusion, as it no longer exists, but was where William Wallace humiliated the English in the famous Referendum of Stirling Bridge  in 1297. Unfortunately WW was captured by the said English shortly afterwards, probably by some devious sneaky trick. He wasn't best pleased - in fact he was gutted !

I digress.
The tide was coming in as  I crossed the bridge with  that swirling ferocity as the water from the ocean fought against the water from the hills. Strange to think that, until recently, some primitive peoples believed that tides were caused by the moon's gravitational pull. Nowadays, of course, we know it's all done by computers
Demonstrating a hitherto concealed ability to multitask, I am also breaking in my new portable telephone today. Mrs OM has read the instructions and given me a detailed tutorial in switching it on etc. Apparently I don't need to know how to switch it off, as I have to keep it on at all times. With my previous machine (The Shoebox) I would switch it in 3 or four times a day, pick up messages and respond as required, much to the annoyance of the family. I'm afraid I still consider it vulgar to talk on the telephone in public places. Apparently with this new equipment I will be able to post to this blog while tucked up in bed. And also to join Facebook and Twitter. Alternatively I might stick needles in my eyes.

No foties, sorry. Blogger says I have reached my limit and will have to pay to upload more, That will be shining.


  1. Do you have leather buttons on yours ?
    cheers Danny

  2. Us Sais have never been very fond of Wallace and his irritating Australian accent.
    And, as dog lovers, we notice that his faithful dog, Grommit has a very low profile in Scottish history. Very telling, that.....

  3. McGrew - No. Not on my phone either.

    Mr. K. - Almost as low a profile as his faithful cat (run over by a Hungarian artic on the A9)
    However, how could you forget Grommit's Oscar nominated performance in "The Wrong Kilt" ?

  4. It is vulgar, no question.
    Have you considered uploading your foties to flickr, then you can stick pictures into blogger without using any of your memory allocation. Blogger help pages ought to tell you how to do it I would think. It's not too complicated - it only took me 4 years to work out how to do it on Wordpress. (Or...well, actually somebody told me how.)

  5. Sorry Mark. Missed that.Thanks. The error message seems to be intermittent, and I have uploaded pictures to a draft post. Typical Blogger !