Wednesday 26 October 2011

A Health Warning !

After recent sensational features such as "Bloggers : send 'em back" and "Blogging blamed for 90% drop in house prices" , Lord Rothermere's organ today leads with "Outdoor blogging is bad for your health"

The article, by I. Madeitallup highlights a recent spate of illness and injury among the tight-knit coterie of outdoor bloggers

Apparently going for a walk, taking some pictures and then posting them , along with with a few well chosen words, on the internet, creates invisible microwaves which can bugger up your brain and other bits.
Perhaps most worrying of all is the revelation that these powerful waves can even affect domestic pets who may be curled up by the fire as the blogger works at the computer..

Top-style outdoor blogger Oldmortality told The Mail " When I started, I was the only invalid posting. Since then, it seems as if everyone is trying to get in on the act. Piles, shingles, arthritis, bad backs, heart problems which I can't spell - and that's just the dogs ! We should never have joined that there Common Market"

And there was  confirmation last night from Professor Rufus Chuckabutty of the University of Bellsdyke (formerly the RSNH) who said " I can confirm everything that The Mail article claims. With figures, And graphs. And percentages and stuff. Invoice to the usual address, I take it ?"
Conventional medicine seems to have no answers and many  bloggers are resorting to quack remedies including massive doses of expensive new gear.

Where will it all end, I ask you ?


  1. Hmm! Should i take this lying down i wonder?

    If you have a spare prescription for a massive dose of NewGearExpensiveIWish i could quite easily take it in liberal doses. Or BUPA might come in handy for a Better Understanding of Peoples Afflictions.

    Where will it all end, i ask you? Soon i hope then i can get back to going for a walk, taking some pictures and then posting them, blah blah blah.

  2. I'm in fine health.

    It's just my body that's scunnered.

  3. "It's the sedentary lifestyle, sitting in front of the computer all day, that's causing these people to have such problems. It's all self inflicted!!!"

    And now that I've discovered that, if I can just increase my blogging by a couple of hours each evening, I'm hoping that I'll qualify for DLA in a month or so.


  4. I would imagine lying down was extremely uncomfortable for a while, Alan.
    Whereas, BG, for you sitting down would be the problem
    Aye, Scott - and the dug'll be able to claim Attendance Allowance.

    Re Referrer Spam. I've had over a hundred visits in the last hour, but only 12 pageviews!

  5. Aye, oh Aye......possibly Fahey at about his best, I'd suggest! Had to redo/edit this cos the magic word it threw up was 'chings' - a misspelling of the immortal 'Jings', I assume!

  6. As in "Jings, crivvens, help ma boab"

  7. 99% of my body is perfectly healthy.
    1% seems perfectly bolloxed.

    Addenbrookes Hospital for me on Wednesday. I shall have to give up this blogging lark and take up drink.

  8. Oooerr, Alan. To those of us in the far corners of the Empire, Addenbrookes is the place where they remove people's components and replace them with parts from other people and animals.
    Whether it is something like that, or just an annoying ingrowing toenail, you know all of us in The Congregation worldwide wish you well !