Wednesday, 26 October 2011

A Health Warning !

After recent sensational features such as "Bloggers : send 'em back" and "Blogging blamed for 90% drop in house prices" , Lord Rothermere's organ today leads with "Outdoor blogging is bad for your health"


The article, by I. Madeitallup highlights a recent spate of illness and injury among the tight-knit coterie of outdoor bloggers


Apparently going for a walk, taking some pictures and then posting them , along with with a few well chosen words, on the internet, creates invisible microwaves which can bugger up your brain and other bits.
Perhaps most worrying of all is the revelation that these powerful waves can even affect domestic pets who may be curled up by the fire as the blogger works at the computer..


Top-style outdoor blogger Oldmortality told The Mail " When I started, I was the only invalid posting. Since then, it seems as if everyone is trying to get in on the act. Piles, shingles, arthritis, bad backs, heart problems which I can't spell - and that's just the dogs ! We should never have joined that there Common Market"


And there was  confirmation last night from Professor Rufus Chuckabutty of the University of Bellsdyke (formerly the RSNH) who said " I can confirm everything that The Mail article claims. With figures, And graphs. And percentages and stuff. Invoice to the usual address, I take it ?"
Conventional medicine seems to have no answers and many  bloggers are resorting to quack remedies including massive doses of expensive new gear.


Where will it all end, I ask you ?

Monday, 24 October 2011

Referrer Spam

Everyday's a school day ! Apparently this is the name given to these automated urls who visit your blog without viewing any pages ( have I got that right ?)

Apparently all blogs get it, but with "high volume" blogs it tends to go unnoticed in the crowd. Only in a "low volume" or, as I prefer to call it "boutique" blog does it become noticeable.
Apparently it is harmless ( apart from buggering up your stats) and is merely an invitation to click on the link and avail yourself of the services offered on the website concerned.
I suppose I shouldn't complain, as, on some days, it's the only traffic I get.

Recently my frequent visitors have been jobsforsmartpeople, which is naturally quite flattering, and gothise, after visiting which, I died my hair black and sulked in my room for a week.

But life comes and goes .


Where it all started for so many of us all these years ago.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

The Bitch is Back

After protracted negotiations (we covered all the angles !) I can now announce the following agreement.

Blogger will, with immediate effect, allow me to post and to respond to comments.
The viewing of my followers will be  phased in over a two year period, subject to an exhaustive review of manning levels and differentials.

In return, I have agreed to desist from describing Blogger as a steaming heap of skunk excrement, developed by a circle-jerk of socially inadequate intellectual pygmies and maintained by a crowd of lazy incompetents with personal hygiene issues.
In addition, I will refrain from posting noisy rock music before the watershed.
Seems fair.

Eppul si muove.

I've a wee bit redding up to do, and then I'll be back in business.

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Apologies

Blogger is not allowing me to respond to comments.
I have not been able to see my followers for about 6 months
There was a suspicious level of activity yesterday.
Someone altered yesterdays post. I have restored the original from the saved copy.

All in all, completely unsatisfactory even for something that is free.

So sod this for a game o' sodjers - I'm off.

Thanks for all the fish.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Visiting Scotland - a warning !

If any of youse had been considering popping up from Englandshire for an afternoon's frolic in the heather - well don't !

It is oppressively hot here in the Centrals, and the natives are not responding well.

However the good news is that the rain (albeit of the warmer sort) will resume tomorrow continuing what has been the wettest, most miserable summer since before Hibs won the Cup. You will find that we have topped up all the bogs for you and installed several new ones where once there was terra firma ; all the burns are now running like rivers and the rivers - well, better get here quick before the bridges get washed away. All in readiness for the rainy season and then the snow.

Look forward to seeing y'all !



Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Vital signs

There being an unexplained gap in the otherwise perpetual precipitation, I was allowed out to play for a couple of hours this afternoon, on the understanding that I didn't get my feet wet, and I didn't talk to any strange women.

A leisurely stroll round the yew-knee-versity campus seemed appropriate, and a fine wee walk it proved





A sign of Autumn. (Acer sacharinum)

 


This strange triptych apparently marked the spot where the old counties of Stirlingshire, Perthshire, and Clackmannanshire met. You can just make out the P for Perthshire on the facing stone. The boundaries have long since changed and the marker itself has been moved and re-assembled facing the wrong way.





This baby is supposed to mark the spot where Malcolm Canmore defeated the Picts to create a united(sic) Scotland. Or it marks the site of a fair held by the locals to sell stuff to the Highlanders on their way through on the cattle droves. Or possibly both.



This has to be the worst drawing of an oystercatcher ever. !



And finally

I leave you with this.

It made my day, it did.